It's been such a long time getting back to writing and indeed I do missed it! I wish to be INSPIRED all the time to work my fingers on my lappy's keyboard to keep this blogsite active.
Well, speaking of being INSPIRED, since it is a love month,please allow me to be mushy and cheesy this time.
It was last Saturday evening, February 9, 2013 to be specific when we had dinner with old folks from my previous company...I knew before hand that my ex-partner wil be joining as part of the group since we were all working together in the same company.
At first, it was just okay to me meeting my EX after 5 or so years...I didn't mind at all until the moment of truth or shall we say, this is it! We will be meeting face to face!
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| photosource: wikipedia |
"Lubb-dubb Lubb-dubb" that's the normal sound of a heartbeat listening from a stethoscope but mine at that very moment was pounding BIGTIME and it sounded like..."Luvv-dubb Luvv-dubb" hahaha...I must admit and honestly, I was so nervous and felt so strange...melting...feeling cold under 29 degrees celsius night sky...I don't know! The feeling was intense and unexplainable.
When we finally met again, I acted normal and pretended I have moved on. I was showing the group that I was happy but neither they know and will understand how my heart is suffering. I must admit I have never moved on until the night we had a chance to be together alone and talked a little about what happened to us. Our relationship has no closure. I was away, miles and seas away when our relationship started to shake...well, that's gonna be another blog for the details of it, hahaha.
I said, I still love you...it is difficult moving on. I have had two relationships after but it did not last because I could not love them the way I have loved(?)you.
My Ex now is in a relationship and that is the fact that I have to deal with. Learning at this stage moving on is essential in my part. The last two relationships did not last for the reason that I am not capable of giving the love that I have once given because there is like a force that holds me back. I am hoping one day I will be ready to love whole heartedly without drawing back the feelings and emotions from the past.
I know some of you may judge me negatively and others may relate to my story but there is one commom denominator that both parties may agree...LOVE is never-ending and the world will agree, FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES.
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!
